English Bay, Vancouver, on a summer day
I had a brief experience yesterday which has quite affected me. You recall that Archangel Michael said that we, as lightworkers, can visit the higher states but we’d be best advised not to stay in them or we’ll forget our lightwork. (1)
My usual in-town friends were not available yesterday and it was a very sunny day. I wanted to get out and at the same time there was no one around. I decided to go down to the beach but I also felt a little lonely.
Add to that something else that happened recently. I had gone to the Apple Store to learn about the iCloud. And I got into a mild disagreement with a teacher. I had security concerns and he discounted them on the basis of there being no such thing as a cabal.
He asked me who I worried might be keeping surveillance on me through the iCloud and I suggested the CIA and FBI. He replied that we were in a separate country and I responded that that did not decide the situation.
Before long we were discussing 9/11 and the London bombings and he responded with a look of contempt and ridicule. Obviously he did not believe that 9/11 was an inside job.
I was still feeling a little residually sore being around people who probably did not share my point of view, wary of beginning a conversation and meeting a look of ridicule.
The loneliness and fear was enough to induce me to watch my thoughts arise.
For a very brief time I entered a slightly higher vibrational state. It was if I had waded into a sea of love for a brief time. But it heightened my ability to follow my thoughts. In that blissful experience, I saw myself have thoughts that would take me out of it.
I saw the causal connection between my thoughts and my experience. I realized that my thoughts determined my response to life, my moods, attitudes, orientation, etc.
We often say “You made me mad,” but in fact, that’s not a true statement. We make ourselves mad with angry thoughts. I saw that plain as day now.
My thoughts created my mood and my mood decided how I’d respond to a situation. A fearful thought resulted in a fearful mood. A lonely thought resulted in a lonely mood.
I began to question my thoughts and saw that I was not always the best judge of the situation.
For instance, I knew intellectually that there was nothing to fear in life. But I nonetheless had fearful thoughts and they created me feeling fearful and responding to the situation with fear. So I could see that my thoughts and assessments could be off and therefore my responses could be off as well.
I came to realize that there is in fact one area in life in which I can plainly see that I am a powerful creator and that is exactly this area. I create my moods with my thoughts. I watched my thoughts change and my moods change along with them for enough time to see the matter clearly.
As I wandered among the crowd at the beach, I watched myself having various assessments of the situation, defining the situation this way and that, and responding to my assessments and definitions. How I see the situation determines how I’ll respond to it. And how I respond to things is not necessarily productive, useful, or even desirable.
Perhaps what I’m saying here sounds obvious and may even sound unremarkable but to me it was a terrific revelation in that moment. I now see I am the sole creator of my reality insofar as how I see things determines how I’ll respond to them. And I also see that my common assessments, my opinions, my perspectives are often not true and not even useful.
It wasn’t long before I became dissatisfied with my own assessments and opinions. And I realized that I wanted to meet life directly, without the screen of my thoughts, opinions and assessments. I actually wanted to be in flow. The whole process of creating my experience and my response to things in line with my thoughts and evaluations, I saw, was another facet of living from within a constructed self. I build that self with my thoughts and the results are not always happy, productive or constructive.
(1) “Running Light,” May 7, 2013, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/05/running-light/